4 Steps To Live A Life You Love
This piece was first written for Womanly Inspiration in 2020.
You have a right to live a life you love and to love the life you live. Yes, you read that right.
Every single person, regardless of their circumstances, was born with the right to live the exact life that she wants. The problem is that most people have never thought about what their dream life looks like. They know that they want to be happier and have more joy but they have no idea what that looks like. If you ask three people that you know what success looks like and feels like for them personally, they most likely will have trouble answering you.
Most of us know what society tells us about success: the money, the cars and the house. However, if these things were truly an indicator of a life well lived, some of the richest people you know would be the happiest people in the world, and we all know that’s not true.
What do you need to live a life you love?
I started working right before graduating from high school. I couldn’t wait to have a job, make money and be independent. I knew for sure that’s exactly what would bring me joy and I that could finally live a life that I love.
My first job was at about $25,000 a year; I was happy for about six months. After that, I began thinking how much happier I would be if I made $50,000 per year. A year later, I was making $55,000. I couldn’t be happier…for about another six months. Then, I was sure that once I hit the $100,000 mark my life would be perfect. I knew for sure that’s exactly what I needed to love my life. A few years later, I passed that mark and yet nothing changed. I still didn’t have a life that I loved.
I realized that if I don’t know where I’m going, I will never know when I get there.
This started my journey to discovering what my dream life actually looks like. Surprisingly, it didn’t include money, cars or houses; it included activities that brought me the most joy and people who I loved most. At this time, I asked myself the tough questions. I did the work and while it wasn’t pretty, it sure was worth it.
Here are four steps that I took, and that you can take right now to start creating a life that you love:
1. Ask yourself what your definition of success is.
What does success feel like?
What does your perfect day look like?
Who is with you? Who isn’t with you?
2. Figure out what you’re passionate about.
If time and money were no object and everything were possible, what would you be doing?
What do you do to procrastinate?
What’s one thing that you love doing for pure joy? It’s not productive, it’s not a job. You only do it for pure joy.
Can’t think of anything? Don’t overthink this. What’s one thing you know that you love to do?
3. Pick the one thing that feels the best to you from the activities you wrote in #2 above.
Don’t overthink it. You already know the answer. List three things that you can do right now as it relates to that one thing.
For example, if the activity you picked was cooking, you can take a cooking class at a local community college, you can get a few moms together and start a meetup where you share recipes, or you can pick one day out of the week that you’re going to cook a meal for a neighbor.
4. Get out your calendar, pick a day and schedule in one of the activities from #3 above.
Get ready to take action! Remember that none of this work matters if you don’t actually take action on it. And if you’re not willing to schedule it in, you’re not willing to do it.
You don’t need to know much to start. Start with what you already know. Only action will create clarity. That clarity will help you tweak what you’re doing and keep going. And that will help you create a life that you love.
