The First Step in Creating a Life That You Love
I was hanging out with a few of my girlfriends this weekend and we got to talking about a certain restaurant.
If you want to create a life you love, you have to be willing to do things differently.
One of the girls asked if the restaurant was any good. I immediately said, “Yes, the food was great!” That was followed by, “But Zee, you usually tend to be positive.” I didn’t know how to take that. I was shocked, honestly. I started thinking, when did positive become fake?
This is the idea that we have in society about being positive, that it’s fake. So we go around, being angry all the time, because anger is a real emotion and positivity is fake. But if you’re always angry and blaming external circumstances for what is happening to you, how will you ever be happy?
How many times do you find yourself saying things like, “I’m not happy!” And “I don’t know what I want!” Like. All. The. Time?
If you leave your happiness in the hands of external circumstances, you will never be happy because you can’t control external things.
You have to stop blaming other people or other things for what’s happening to you in your life. Yes, the accident that you were in where someone rear-ended you was not your fault but let’s be honest, you had a part to play in it. You chose to take that road. And yes, that might be the only road that can take you to where you need to go but you still had a choice whether to go or not.
Stop giving your power away, will ya? When you start talking about how annoying your boss is so you just can’t be happy or how your friends are never there for you and you feel lonely, the conversation stops there. You have already given your power over your happiness away to other people and there’s nothing you can do about it. But I would like to suggest an alternative. I always get backlash when I talk about this and I get people who call me fake or unrealistic. But what’s the alternative? Being angry and never happy? I’ll take my fake happiness anytime, thank you very much!
Take that power back. You are in total control of your life, It’s right there, all you have to do is grab it.
This quote by Charles Swindoll is one of my favorite ones. It is an essential ingredient in creating a life you love:
I’m sure you know someone in your life that’s always going through a series of unfortunate events. Every time you talk to her she’s complaining about something else that happened to her and how others did her wrong. Always complaining, always in victim mode, always angry, never happy. How unpleasant is it to be around that person?
You have to stop being angry and unhappy all the time. If you’re always angry about everything you’re not operating from a solution based mindset. Successful people are always thinking about solutions, not about blame. Yes, the accident was unfortunate. Yes, your boss is a monster but where is your responsibility, how did you play a role and how can you change it?
Start thinking about solutions, not about problems.
Putting it into action:
Ready to take your power back and create a life you love? Try these…
What’s one area in your life that you’re constantly complaining about? Something that is always making you unhappy. Now ask yourself what part YOU had in this. Before you quickly jump into, “It wasn’t my fault at all,” really think about it. You always have a choice. How did you contribute to getting here in the first place? It’s not about blaming yourself, it’s about owning the fact that you have a choice.
Become aware of your language when you’re complaining. Start noticing it. I bet it’s way more times than you thought. Ask yourself how you can take your power back and how you can apply a solution-based mindset to it?
